She believed she could, so she did…

Sunday 29th April 2018…the day I completed my half marathon challenge. Rewind back to Monday 16th April 2018 (one of the inspirations behind my previous blog, Tantrum, Tears and Treatment) and I didn’t even think I would make the start line…I couldn’t even run 2 miles due to a dodgy knee, let alone 6.55 times that distance. I was starting to contemplate a totally different kind of personal challenge as I faced the prospect of having to withdraw from the race and deal with the feelings of failure and letting people down. Fast forward 14 days and physically, I’m feeling a bit sore, but mentally, I’m still feeling elated. I did it! I ran 13.1miles and my knee is now one of the the only things that doesn’t hurt!

At 08.45am I was shivering on the start line, alone but connected to about 6000 other people who were also about to take on the challenge with one common aim in mind…to cross the finish line. As the horn sounded to start the race at 09.00am, I began the long walk to the start line (I was at the back with the sub 2:30 group). Externally, the speakers were playing the theme tune to Chariots of Fire but, internally, the pesky inner critic went into over drive…How on earth did I think I could do this when everyone else was clearly more prepared than I was? How was my knee going to survive the distance? What if I caused an even worse injury? What if I didn’t finish? etc etc. The inner critic got more air time than I would have liked because the approach to the start line was slowed down due to having to dodge the mud and puddles. Then it loomed large, the timer was ticking and, before I knew it, I was over it. This was it…I pressed start on my Fitbit and playlist, gave a last minute wave to my supporters and then I dug deep and started to push forwards. I was about to go well and truly Beyond the C Zone.

I spent 2 hours, 29 minutes and 7 seconds racing myself through the City of Chester and the Cheshire countryside. In my custom made Beyond the C Zone T-Shirt I ran amongst people with their own stories and reasons for taking on the half marathon challenge, many of whom also had them emblazoned on their race attire. One of my favourite items of clothing were some leggings covered in inspirational and motivational words. My favourite became my mantra for the remaining miles:

“She believed she could, so she did.”

The Race Marshalls, those handing out water, live music, and crowds of supporters were AMAZING. Even in what appeared to be the middle of nowhere, people had come out to cheer us on and offer words of encouragement… “you’re well over halfway” gets my vote for the most encouraging statement. I high fived supporters who held out their hands as we ran past and hit the “boost boards” people had made for runners to get a psychological energy surge…I’m 100% convinced that my pace increased every time I touched one. The jelly babies were handed out at just the right time in the final few miles.

There was a comforting rhythm created by the sound of trainers hitting the tarmac and the beautiful scenery when running through the countryside was definitely worth getting up early on a Sunday morning for. But, the race was by no means easy. On two occasions it felt like I’d gone way too far beyond my comfort zone. At mile 10, I began to feel wobbly, I realised how much bits of me were hurting (apart from my knee!) and I was running into unknown territory because 10 miles was as far as I had got in training. At mile 12, I realised that I would have to face ‘the hill’ to get to the finish line. I hadn’t really paid any attention to those who had told me about the hill at the end of the race, but I did when I ran down it during the first mile of the race. It was a tough way to finish. I was tired and my legs hurt. I was so close but the end felt so far away as I ran/walk up what felt like a mountain. When I reached the summit, and turned the corner, everything changed…every step and every bit of effort was absolutely worth it.

The finish line was in sight and the roar of the crowd was immense. There was a sea of smiling faces, people shouting my name, cheering me on as my pace quickened. It was then that I felt a sudden wave of emotion build and I realised I was crying…tears of joy as my right foot went over the finish line and I punched the air in celebration. I’d done it! And, within the time I had aimed for.

Once over the finish line I found myself in the “athlete only area” being handed a medal and some much needed water. Imposter syndrome definitely starts to sneak in whenever the word “athlete” is mentioned at races. But, I have since discovered that the word “athlete” actually comes from the Greek word, “athlon”, meaning “prize”. For me, the prize on Sunday wasn’t the medal (although it’s a nice one!). It was what it told me about myself…running has helped me become physically and emotionally stronger by pushing me beyond my comfort zone and showing me what I’m capable of.

I got a lovely message from someone that expresses this far better than I can:

“…Again you demonstrate how brave and strong you are by pushing through the injury and taking that leap of faith (accompanied by your knee support) to smash today.”

Someone who gets a special mention is my Dad as I certainly couldn’t have completed the half marathon challenge without his help in sorting out my dodgy knee.

So, that’s another of my 40 challenges ticked off the list. Going Beyond the C Zone on this occasion has introduced me to new people who have provided inspiration along the way, it has renewed my love of running, and it has increased my belief in myself and what I’m capable of. I thought I could run 13.1 miles, and I did.

Tantrum, Tears & Treatment…

What a difference a week makes! I wasn’t planning to write a blog until the completion of my half marathon challenge but inspiration struck during today’s 10 mile run. This was because, at the start of the week, I couldn’t even manage 2 miles…I couldn’t even run for 5 minutes because of my knee. Patella Femoral Pain Syndrome (“Runners Knee”) to be exact…something that’s been niggling for weeks but struck big time a few weeks ago when, due to the pain, I had to abandon my run and ring for help….a lift home!

On Monday, when the pain struck, I started to think it was game over and the half marathon challenge was out of reach. My aim had been to run 7 miles but I was forced to give up at 2 miles…not even managing to run that. How was it going to be possible to run almost 7 times that distance? It was at this point, the moment when I thought it wasn’t going to happen, I realised how much the half marathon challenge meant to me. I’ll be totally honest and admit that I actually had a bit of a tantrum…kicking and cursing mud, grass, twigs…anything that got in my way as I stomped home. I was a 40 year old acting like a 4 year old. When I eventually got home, the tantrum turned into tears. It was beginning to feel like failure and, for those of you that know me well, or have read my blogs, you know that this is something that I struggle with and will try and avoid at all costs. It’s something that takes me well and truly beyond my comfort zone!

As I started to try and get my head around the fact that dealing with NOT completing the half marathon might actually become a Beyond the C Zone challenge, I phoned my Dad. He’s a physiotherapist and I thought he’d give me the final confirmation that it was challenge over…particularly given that 2 weeks after the half marathon I go to New York where I really will need my knee given the miles I’ll be walking. But, I was wrong…my dad was adamant that my knee would be absolutely fine if I continued with my twice daily exercises and the treatment he’d prescribed over the phone…plus the addition of a knee support. At the time, I don’t think this was what I wanted to hear…I was potentially going to be letting us both down (well, that’s what the inner pesky critic was telling me) if I didn’t make the start or finish lines.

So, I got the knee support (I’m now referring to it as my miracle and new BFF), continued with the exercises, and, on Wednesday, I managed to run 4 miles. On Friday, I achieved 5 miles. Determination (and stubbornness) started to drown out the pesky inner critic. It all hinged on managing to do a long run today…in my head I’d decided that 10 miles would convince me that I was physically and psychologically ready for the half marathon challenge. This was the dress rehearsal (albeit a little late in the training plan). I headed off with a new playlist, my knee support firmly attached and smelling of deep heat, energy gels in my running belt…and I DID IT! 10.01 pain free miles!! It will go down as one of my favourite runs EVER…the weather, the scenery, the playlist, the feeling, but, most of all, the completion of it. It may not have been my fastest run but it reinforced that it’s slow and steady that wins the race.

What today showed me was that sometimes you really don’t know what you’re capable of and sometimes my Dad is right (there can’t be very many times I’ve said that before!). The mind can often get in the way of what we set out to achieve, especially when we start to venture outside of our Comfort Zone! It turns the ‘I can’ into ‘I can’t. I’m now firmly back in the ‘this girl can’ zone and on Sunday I’ll be running the Chester Half Marathon for me and my Dad, my ‘I really can do this’ inspiration.